Becoming Me

Welcoming 2012...14 days late

2012-01-14T17:48:00.000-05:00

Oh my damn. I have been thinking about writing in a blog. I need a way to get the thing inside- outside of my head. I thought about creating a blog and then I found this. I’ve decided that though, I won’t write everything that comes into my head, I plan to explore many topics this year via my blog. I’m hoping others will read and comment. Let me warn you: I plan to not sensor myself, as I usually do. If you are offended by cursing, or you are sensitive-you will just be wasting your time to read this because you’ll end up offended constantly. I will write about ideas that I find interesting and that might include others ideas that I am analyzing. I plan to “become me,” bahahahah!

I read my last posts and wow, I had big dreams for last year. I don't really think I accomplished many of my goals, but life did change, which I was sure of. This year:
--I got a job that I only dreamed
--Bought a house (no commenting, Kevin!!)
--Gained some weight L
--Learned a new level of strength I didn’t know I possessed (ask me sometime)
--Protected those who cannot protect themselves.
--Came to a place where I do feel like I love myself.
--Celebrated 4 years of marriage (commitment-phobe that I am)

So, I accomplished somethings and backpeddled on others. I remember when I was younger my mom saying that she was so happy to turn 30, because people started taking her seriously. I agree, but even more I think now I take myself seriously. Don’t get me wrong, I still like to have fun (in fact I may or may not have discovered clubs) but I know kind of the direction that I want to go with my life and I am figuring out how to get there. So far, this year (which began in July) has been good for me. I have an amazing job, own a house-ish, have a car that runs, am close to my family, and everyone I love is healthy. There isn’t much more that I could ask for (don’t get me wrong, I still desire more J

It’s funny, because there is one big issue that I had a year ago and that I have now: getting healthy/losing weight. This year I did not meet that goal, but I now am more comfortable with who I am. In fact, I really love myself for the most part. My hope is that this love for and confidence in myself will help to propel me into weight lose and getting healthy.

So, if you read last January’s post you know I don’t believe in resolutions. They are ridiculous and you feel like a loser if you don’t accomplish them (or you really are a loser…bahahah) Point is that this year I have goals that I plan to work toward. Will I be flawless? Um, no. But I am going to try my hardest and hopefully this year I will blog more than just once a year!!

These goals are going to look too much like last year, but there are a number of things that I still need to do:

Keep a food and workout journal-reflecting on it on Saturdays.
Learn to enjoy exercising again by doing fun exercise.
Focus of the positive
Participate in a 5K where I run (I am walking a 5K on Tuesdays, and my goal is to get to a run
Take kickboxing
Lose 52 pounds by eating healthier and less; moving more
Read Proverbs through every month
Read the Bible more
Read 52 books
Volunteer (not sure where)
Make a positive difference in the world.
Communicate with others more effectively

I look at 2012 and I know that this year will be a year of change. Like I said before, you can be certain of one thing: change. Nothing in life stays the same-ever.

To the journey,
HJ

Stinky Man at the Gym

2011-01-12T22:20:00.006-05:00

My favorite piece of gym equipment is the elliptical machine. I love it for a number of reasons:

I can feel the difference in my body already.
I can push myself to go much faster than on the treadmill.
I get my heart rate up quickly.
I sweat a ton.
It feels like running, but isn't as hard so I can do it a lot longer.

I'm sure if I thought longer I would have many more reasons, but these are the top. At the gym I am a member of there are only two elliptical machines, so you can imagine that at times it can be a challenge to get "a spot."

Today I walked into the gym, and yay one elliptical was open. I noticed the man on the other machine and really didn't give him much though...until about 40 seconds into my 1 hour workout. Yep, you got it right, there was an aroma coming from his direction every time he exhaled. I don't know if he didn't brush his teeth or if his breath just naturally smells like a sewer, but let me tell you-it made it quite hard to concentrate (yes, it really was that bad.) I brought a book to read and I tried very hard not to breath through my nose, but it's tough when you are doing cardio. I really wanted to switch machines, but then I looked at myself in that wonderful mirror (the one that daily reminds me, I am still fat) and told myself- I am NOT going to allow myself to use this guy as my excuse! Fortunately, he was only there for about 15 minutes and then in came a wonderful smelling guy that made me kind of wonder if now I was the stinky one at the gym!

Welcome 2011...I'm so glad you're here

2011-01-11T19:30:00.002-05:00

I don't believe in making New Year's resolutions. I used to, but after years of making and breaking them I decided that I am out. However, there is something about the beginning of the year that gets me excited about living. Some years are great, and I long for them; honestly though, there have been too many years that I was so glad to see them go!
2010 was a year full of change. I started out living in Largo, a city I imagined I would stay for 5 years or more...I was there a total of 6 months. I lived with my Mother in Law (huge challenge, not her as much as the situation.) I moved a total of 4 times, and ended up back near my family (which is fine with me). It was full of many good things, like my 3 year anniversary-we made it! I met many people who probably didn't realize that they made a lasting impression on me, and I learned that I am more resilient than I previously believed. I got to live near the beach. A friendship I thought was gone forever was reunited, and we finally found a place to call home.

So, what does all this have to do with losing weight? Well, I didn't lose any. Actually, I went up and down throughout the year, but didn't stabilize. Most of my life I have had something "bad" happen and then I always end up gaining weight. So, this was the first year that at the beginning and the end I still fit in the same clothes. Though I much prefer a smaller size, I am glad I am at least not bigger!

Now, as I said, I don't have any "resolutions," but I do have goals. I know it's just a word choice, but I just like the word goal. Making goals, helps to constantly keep the end in mind (in this case, end of the year.) I like to always be thinking about where I am going personally and professionally.

Here are my health-related Goals for 2011:

To go the the gym every week, 5 times a week. Do at least 1 hour of cardio, and weights alternating days. No matter how I feel.

Keep a food and workout journal.

Cut down on carbs and sugars. I would love to cut them out totally, but my goal is by 50%, which is attainable.

Learn to be a runner. Start a running plan by February.

Cut my cholesterol and triglycerides by eating healthy.

Focus on the good things in life.

Become muscular.

Lose at least 50 pounds. (I would love to lose a lot more, but I am going to set the bar a a reasonable level, and if I can achieve more I will be very pleased.)

Have a good attitude, even when I don't get my way (at least 50% of the time.)

Participate in a 5k, at least-by October.

Take a kickboxing class.

Love myself, flaws and all.

This year is going to be amazing, I know. It will hold change, because that is the one constant in life. It will hold joy, and accomplishment. This is the year that I will reach my goals, and when I look back at this blog I will remember what it felt like to write it, and I will be thankful.

Here is a picture of me with a good friend of mine, Joshua, dancing on New Year's early morning. This is one of my, "beginning of the journey," pictures.

To the Journey,

Beginning Again

2010-12-14T13:01:00.003-05:00

So I created this blog and I have been lazy about it. For the longest time I have had this idea that I would be one of the first people to start a blog with a lot of weight to lose and I would use my blog to track my success. Then when I get to my goal weight I would have a real account of it. For some reason life gets in the way, that's how it's always has been. Well, today I am starting this blog and I am going to write in it regularly. I doubt that many people will read this, but I know that there is something about writing that helps me to work through my thoughts and my hope is that as I do I will learn more about myself and help someone. I mean, even if it's just ONE someone. So, join me as I learn how to lose weight again, how to be disciplined again, and how to maintain my weight loss.

To the Journey,

Heather Joy