I miss him

It's ridiculous, I know that's what you will be thinking soon enough.

I miss him. Jasper.

It's rediculous,because he is a dog. It has been 4 month; 4 days. Sometimes it seems like it's been way less time since I last held him, and others it seems like a thousand years.

Sometimes I just don't understand. With each new bereavement all past loves are re-wrenched away. All past trauma reoccurs. All old wounds are torn open.

It's ridiculous my brain tells me. I am not a "listen to your heart" kind of person. Listening to thoughts verses feelings is the best route.

However, what happens when your heart just aches.

So many people have lost much more. Some have lost less.

But, it happened at my birthday. Well, near it.

What happened 16 years before, right near my birthday? Lost my Daddy. I know,16 years,"You should be over it."

Time doesn't heal all wounds. It just gets you further from the moment of impact. Realize how much they have missed. How much I've missed them.

I hate that my first entry in a while is such the downer, since I've not written in so long; it's just me, in this moment.

Glad life is made of moments; good and bad-neither lasts.

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