A Journey into the Unknown

So, last night I had an awesome dream. No, this isn't a pun, I really did. I had a dream that my stomach was almost totally flat and my boobs were big. It was a dream come true. I remember in my dream I asked myself how I got to that point and realized that it was from eating very healthy. In my dream I was juicing and addicted to exercise. When I woke up I was mulling over the dream. Dreams inspire us, both those in day and night dreams. It made me want to wake up and juice some veggies. Back in the day (about 2004) I was working on learning Spanish. My teacher told me that when you start dreaming in Spanish (where you speak and understand) that is a step towards fluency. So the dream made me think...is this a sign that I am on my way to skinny? Well, I am taking it as a yes (though it might have something to do with me being sick :-) HJ 　

I don't know why I am not quite as angry as I thought I would be with myself at having gained weight this week. I know that week one I was a rock star when it came to documenting everything I ate. Week two and three I slacked off. I think it is that I imagined that after one week I know how much I can or cannot eat and still lose weight. Well, I don't. I have had many bad habits for about the past 10 years which I hope I can break in a few months. It's so frustrating. I can vividly remember being very skinny and I wish there was a switch I could turn on and be 130 pounds. Uggg. Well, this week I vow to myself to blog everything that goes in my mouth. Also, this week I will implement exercise into my diet. This week I promise to myself that I will exercise 4 days this week at 1 hour each. On another note, today is the 2nd day feeling sick. Hopefully I will lose weight this week, since I have been sick, but it didn't help this week! Hoping tomorrow I wake up feeling bet...

So, my purpose of blogging though my weight loss journey has a few purposes. When I get to goal 1, 2, 3, and eventually I get to my goal weight I want to be able to read over my blogs and realize how far I have come. I want it to motivate me to keep striving to be the best version of myself and never give up. Also, I want to inspire other people. If I can lose weight then anyone can. Lets rewind to high school. A close friend and I used to do every single weight loss fad there was: the cabbage soup diet, grapefruit diet, rubbing a concoction of olive oil and red wine vinegar on our fat. We lost and gained weight. I had thin and fat clothes. We smelled of cabbagen and salad, depending on the week. At the time I didn't fully understand being healthy and weight loss. At one point I was down to 120 points and I still thought I had weight to lose. It didn't help to have thin friends who made comments when I was in my fat pants (150 pounds) that lingered in my head no matter how ...

Pizza hut So I stayed the same as last week. At least I didn't gain, I told myself...but really. Why did I stay the same? Because I haven't been tracking everything that passes through my lips. It was so easy week one. Why is it so hard now? In my head I know that it is imperative my eating healthy is. Why is it so damn hard? After my less then happy weigh in today I ended the day by eating...Pizza Hut. I ate 2 pieces and 3 cheese sticks. I counted them all and most of the bread I ended up giving to the dogs, but still. When will I learn!! Oy vey! DOWN 5.8 pounds from original weight (stayed the same!!)

So it's pretty embarrassing to admit to being an emotional eater. It is something I have struggled with admitting for a while now. The thing is that I always equate emotional with week and I like to consider myself a strong person. My journey from fat to thin; unhealthy to healthy has to include a lot of self-analysis which can be difficult to do. Why do I emotionally eat? Is it easier to eat then to face the emotions head on? I am pretty certain that this is the case. Today I ate at McDonalds and had a medium fries (in my defense I ordered a small, but was given a medium) and a McDouble extra onions. I ate the McDouble without the bun and documented the points in my app. After eating I was left feeling not fully satisfied and to be honest, a little sick. I felt light headed and like I needed a nap. It didn't feel like the sadness I was experiencing was suddenly gone, but now I just needed to sleep. While I was eating the fries the thought came to me, "You are emotionally...

Today I weighed in losing 5.8 pounds. You wouldn't think that would make a whole lot of difference, but I already notice my stomach isn't sticking out as far. I feel better, cleaner somehow. I wish I had tons of time to type but hopefully I will make more time in the future. HJ DOWN 5.8 pounds from original weight

Most week days I have a shake for breakfast. It is quick and I don't like cooking right before I leave. Here's my current favorite. I plan to tweak it by adding a protein powder, but the one I have has too many sugars in it. 2 TBSP PB2-powdered peanut butter 1 banana 1 C Skim Milk 1.5 C spinach pinch Truvia or other non-sugar sweetener Total WW Points: 3 Put in blender. Here's the one I use, which is a single serving and you can take the bottle with you: Blend, and add ice until it's milkshake consistency. It is delicious!! Please remember to verify the points with your points plus calculator or your WW app.

Heather's Lasagna Rolls/lasagna/baked ziti 2 oz Cabot 75% less fat cheese ((2 points)) 1 serv. pasta-gluten free, whole wheat ((5 points)) 1/2 C. fat free cottage cheese or 1/4 C. Part skim ricotta cheese ((2 points)) Tomato sauce ((this can be 0-? points) 9 points per serving -Cook Pasta -Tomato sauce= I use canned no salt added and add herbs only so it's 0 points. .5 cup-1 c. -Mix cottage or ricotta cheese with tomato sauce -For Lasagna roll layer of sauce mix and then cheese and roll up place in pan and repeat top with left over sauce and cheese bake or eat like this -For lasagna cut into pieces layer pasta, sauce, cheese bake or eat like this -For pasta Mix sauce, pasta and put in pan top with cheese and broil on high for a few minutes Yumm! ((It looks all mushy when cooked, but it's delicious!))   This is with cheddar cheese 　

It's funny, really. Here I sit. Year 3, right around the same time blogging. It's obviously a pattern. New year, new hope and motivation and eeeyyyyaaaapppphhhppp...that's the sound of life getting in the way of ideals and motivation. I know this will sound like a broken record but really, this is a year of change.Every year is, but this year, 2014 is the one where I get fit. I want to have a resolution or resolutions but I am never able to keep them. My goal this year is simply to eat healthy food and get my body fit. I know what I want that to be, but not what is reasonable. So, as of today I joined Weight Watchers. I was a member before and successful when I stayed on it, but when I didn't well, gained the weight. I do believe it is the one thing that works so I am on board and plan on staying that way for the rest of my life. I wish there was a magic pill that I could take and the fat would melt off and I would no longer crave snickers and sushi, but there...